So you wanna be a Stay At-Home Dad (SAHD)?

Short answer: Don't do it, reconsider, read some liter-ature on the subject, you sure? Fvck it!

I became a SAHD when my spouse and I welcomed our first child in 2016. And because we are gluttons for punishment, we added a second child to the mix in 2019. Those two are who I playfully refer to as the co-chairs of the board. My spouse, who works a full-time white collar job, is affectionately the CEO and my direct supervisor. Me? I'm the Chief Operating Officer. The choice was simple for our family:

• My spouse had the more promising career path
• We had an ample emergency fund stashed away
• We both worked and lived together on one salary for years
• We both believed that one parent should stay at home with our child(ren)

Even if you have all those factors checked off, double-check, re-check and check some more before going down this path. Trust me on this one.

So what does my job look like you are probably wondering? Childcare. And more childcare. Cleaning. And more cleaning. Laundry. And more laundry (approximately half my time is spent sorting, washing, drying, folding or putting clothes away). Also anything else the CEO sees fit to throw my way. The pay is horrible. The hours are long. I am on call 24/7/366 (leap year!). There is no vacation time allocated. The company car is a minivan. But the rewards are PRICELESS. Oh yeah, the commute is great, I couldn't leave that one out.

But the real negatives of the job is the outside perception. For example, here are just a few of the terms that get thrown around about the person holding this job:

• Pimp 😎
• Lazy bastard 🛌
• Glorified babysitter 👶
• Lady of the house 👀 😠

And those are the "funny" ones told by understanding supporting friends and family in jest. I mean, there may be some subtle notes of jealousy in there but who really knows or cares. You are too busy worried about your toddler's inability to sit still for 2 seconds or if you remembered to sterilize that teething toy the baby has in their mouth this very second. In any case, those aren't the stuff that gets to you. It's the well meaning questions/comments you get from time to time:

• Are you on a sabbatical?
• Damn, so you just gave up?
• Is that it? What else do you do?
• What about your own personal goals, dreams, purpose?
• You should find a work from home job to fill the spare time.
• Isn't it selfish with you sitting at home while your spouse works?
• Aren't you putting all the pressure on your spouse to be the primary breadwinner?

Long story short, you are going to need very THICK skin if you want this job. There is no crying in SAHD. Wait, what am I saying?? There is LOTS AND LOTS of crying (just not for you) in SAHD. But there are resources that can help guide and support you IF you still think (are you NUTS??) this is the path you want to take. At the top of this list is The National At-Home Dad Network. Good luck and godspeed.

As for me, I wouldn't trade this job for the world, BEST. JOB. EVER!