Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Microsoft Communicator in the Workplace

So I'm sitting at my desk at work on the day of the Michael Jackson memorial and I get an instant message from the resident slacker at my job via Microsoft Communicator (basically Instant Messenger for the Workplace).

Slacker: Did you moonwalk to your office this morning?

Troy: Shh-mon!

Slacker: And did you start your day with a beat-it?

Troy: Ha! Nope, but I am gonna end it with a thriller.

Slacker: With Billie Jean?

Troy: Not my love...old news, she's out of my life for some time now.

Slacker: You can teach her the ABCs. I've heard they are easy as 1-2-3.

Troy: Or is it as easy as black or white?

Slacker: Sometimes you have to just look at the man in the mirror.

Troy: Whoa, where did that come from? You and your off the wall comments.

Slacker: Hey buddy, do you wanna be starting something?

Troy: Try as you wish, I'm unbreakable.

Slacker: Nah.. you are just a P.Y.T.

Troy: I don't know where you're going with that last comment but if there is a pretty young thing out there you should know the girl is mine.

Slacker: I'd like to jam with you on Communicator about MJ all afternoon but some of us gotta work.

Troy: Work? You? Ha! I want to be where you are...come in when I want, "work" from home when I want.
[Slacker is taking a long time to respond]
Troy: What? Have you resorted to googling songs now? What type of monkey business is this?

Slacker: You think you are a smooth criminal, but you're just a hater.

Troy: Dude, not only am I smooth, I am also dangerous.

Slacker: Say, say, say whatever you want.

Troy: Lots more to say...for instance, did I ever tell you I once dated Dirty Diana.

Slacker: Nope...I'm pretty sure you are still in the closet.

Troy: I'm so far removed from you and your "closet" that I'm a stranger in moscow.

Slacker: Who are you fooling? You are with Ben thinking about butterflies.

Troy: You've got the wrong guy. I'm with a beautiful girl.

Slacker: You are not alone with her, I'm with her too.

Troy: Hey, are you calling my girl a cheater?

Slacker: Her and I have been workin day and night until there is blood on the dance floor.

Troy: Blood?? Can someone say, "in the back?" But if that's your thing, may I suggest you don't stop until you get enough.

Slacker: It's my patented move. I call it the rockin robin.

Troy: Dude, I'm laughing so much I am speechless.

Slacker: Why don't you go ahead and cry then?

Troy: I haven't cried since childhood...I can't even remember the time?

Slacker: Hey tabloid junkie, enough of this crap, I gotta do some work.

Troy: Ha! You finally realized that you can't win huh?

Slacker: Dude, quit it. Someone just walked in my cube. This dialogue in the Communicator window looks bad.

Troy: Who is it?

Slacker: My boss. Had he seen this my ass would have been on the line. Okay, definitely quitting now.

Troy: Look at him and yell, "Leave me alone!"

Slacker: Dude, you're crazy. I want to spend one day in your life.

Troy: Hey, it's just another part of me.

Slacker: Are you sure its not just human nature?

Troy: Enough slacking, back to work. Time to heal the world one Liberian girl at a time.

Slacker: Dude you are a trip. One last song drop and I am done. Like all the great ones, gone too soon.