Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Microsoft Communicator in the Workplace

So I'm sitting at my desk at work on the day of the Michael Jackson memorial and I get an instant message from the resident slacker at my job via Microsoft Communicator (basically Instant Messenger for the Workplace).

Slacker: Did you moonwalk to your office this morning?

Troy: Shh-mon!

Slacker: And did you start your day with a beat-it?

Troy: Ha! Nope, but I am gonna end it with a thriller.

Slacker: With Billie Jean?

Troy: Not my love...old news, she's out of my life for some time now.

Slacker: You can teach her the ABCs. I've heard they are easy as 1-2-3.

Troy: Or is it as easy as black or white?

Slacker: Sometimes you have to just look at the man in the mirror.

Troy: Whoa, where did that come from? You and your off the wall comments.

Slacker: Hey buddy, do you wanna be starting something?

Troy: Try as you wish, I'm unbreakable.

Slacker: Nah.. you are just a P.Y.T.

Troy: I don't know where you're going with that last comment but if there is a pretty young thing out there you should know the girl is mine.

Slacker: I'd like to jam with you on Communicator about MJ all afternoon but some of us gotta work.

Troy: Work? You? Ha! I want to be where you are...come in when I want, "work" from home when I want.
...
[Slacker is taking a long time to respond]
...
Troy: What? Have you resorted to googling songs now? What type of monkey business is this?

Slacker: You think you are a smooth criminal, but you're just a hater.

Troy: Dude, not only am I smooth, I am also dangerous.

Slacker: Say, say, say whatever you want.

Troy: Lots more to say...for instance, did I ever tell you I once dated Dirty Diana.

Slacker: Nope...I'm pretty sure you are still in the closet.

Troy: I'm so far removed from you and your "closet" that I'm a stranger in moscow.

Slacker: Who are you fooling? You are with Ben thinking about butterflies.

Troy: You've got the wrong guy. I'm with a beautiful girl.

Slacker: You are not alone with her, I'm with her too.

Troy: Hey, are you calling my girl a cheater?

Slacker: Her and I have been workin day and night until there is blood on the dance floor.

Troy: Blood?? Can someone say, "in the back?" But if that's your thing, may I suggest you don't stop until you get enough.

Slacker: It's my patented move. I call it the rockin robin.

Troy: Dude, I'm laughing so much I am speechless.

Slacker: Why don't you go ahead and cry then?

Troy: I haven't cried since childhood...I can't even remember the time?

Slacker: Hey tabloid junkie, enough of this crap, I gotta do some work.

Troy: Ha! You finally realized that you can't win huh?

Slacker: Dude, quit it. Someone just walked in my cube. This dialogue in the Communicator window looks bad.

Troy: Who is it?

Slacker: My boss. Had he seen this my ass would have been on the line. Okay, definitely quitting now.

Troy: Look at him and yell, "Leave me alone!"

Slacker: Dude, you're crazy. I want to spend one day in your life.

Troy: Hey, it's just another part of me.

Slacker: Are you sure its not just human nature?

Troy: Enough slacking, back to work. Time to heal the world one Liberian girl at a time.

Slacker: Dude you are a trip. One last song drop and I am done. Like all the great ones, gone too soon.

1 comment:

G Hop said...

OMG!!!, please tell me you copied this entire conversation and did not remember it by heart. I am curious to find out the time the conversation started and the time it finished. Sure does not seem like either of you got much work done and had your own little memorial instead. CHEESE AND BRED!!!