Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Meeting: Mary & Jane

The time has come for me to REALLY introduce these two. I have known them for a very long time and I am convinced that even though they meet, talk, & interact with each other ALL THE FREAKING TIME they have never truly met. These two are single heterosexual females in the 25-35 age group who happen to be in my Friends & Family network: Mary & Jane.

The best way to sum up Mary is to say that the only thing greater than her potential was her desire to be a mother. So even though she was single and not in a steady relationship, she took matters into her own hands. Roughly 9 months later, Mary delivers a beautiful baby girl. Fast forward X years later when Mary realizes that her expenses are growing faster than her wages and just the mere mention of the word, "daycare" sends her into panic mode to figure out how she will pay this week's bill. After much calculations, Mary realizes that for her wages to keep up with inflation she will need to complete additional schooling to which she quickly enrolls into a respected part-time program. Sadly though, after struggling through her first semester she is quickly becoming overwhelmed with being a part-time student, full-time employee and full-time single mother. I mean, wouldn't you?

Jane, who has an equal amount of potential as Mary has already realized 90%+ of said potential by attaining her graduate degree and rapidly advancing up the corporate ladder. Hell, in a few more years Jane will be partner/VP/Group President/Editor-in-Chief. But like Mary, Jane's biggest desire is the joy of motherhood. However, unlike Mary, Jane either walked the straight and narrow or just got lucky. But now that Jane is over the age of 30 she envies Mary tremendously. Even though Jane is now a major mover-and-shaker living in a busy city, she is seriously contemplating what Mary has done. It has reached the point where Jane is now off the pill and researching pregnancy risks for women in her age group. After-all-man (another phrase from my Mom), Jane doesn't want to wake up one day and look at the clock only to see her time has passed.

Typical Mary & Jane Meeting:
Jane: Hey Mary, how is the baby?
Mary: Wonderful. Everyday I thank God for my beautiful gift of a baby girl. Check out these latest pictures.
Jane: Oh my God, she is soooooooo cute.
Mary: Yeah, she gets it from her Mom, of course.
Jane & Mary: [Over an hour of laughing, giggling, cheesing, & showing more teeth than two donkey eating sugarcane.]
Jane: Kiss the baby for me. Bye.
Mary: I will. Take care.

Why do both Mary and Jane tell ME the real deal but front with each other constantly? Think about it for a second, they tell ME of all people?? In any case, I don't have anything against the decisions made by either Jane or Mary since everyone has to pave their own path in life. I mean, these are tough personal choices that even my know-it-all self would never pretend to comprehend. But I do know this, they should speak to each other honestly and openly. I'm guessing there may be some learning, growing, understanding or sharing of one of those things that I read about in fairy tales. Oh yeah, I remember the name of that thing now: EMOTIONS.

I will go out on a limb (don't rake me over the coals too much) and say that while I see this behavior in ladies a lot I rarely, if ever, see it in men. Each one teach one doesn't have to be restricted to clothes & shoes shopping ladies. :) I love you same way.

PS: To all the Marys out there,
Keep Ya Head Up cause Holding The Strain cares if don't nobody else cares.

1 comment:

G Hop said...

I really think women are underestimated when it comes to the way they evaluate things. They are either 1. too busy looking at other things to not see the real issue or 2. they know neither then or anyone else can handle the results that go along with the real issue. Mary and Jane give you (of all people) the real deal for a very logical reason.

Mary and Jane already know if the other is aware of the real deal it would create new issues between them. Unless everyone is prepared for the changes that will definitely occur, it is best you remain their whatchamacallit. :-)