Back & forth with the Movie Snob

So after receiving my free movie code from Big Red yesterday I couldn't decide on what movie I should get. So I went on to the website and figured I would just get the highest rated movie that they had available using ratings from Da Flix. And as I suspected some touchy-feely movie was the highest rated. But what surprised me the most was that a friend of mine who THINKS he is the biggest movie snob ever had rated this chick-flick 3 stars (Da Flix allows you to share your viewing history and ratings). Instantly I now wanted to watch it because at the very least I can now make fun of him for the girly-man that he is.

I get home and pop the movie on and instantly kicked off a text message discussion with the Movie Snob that went exactly like this:

Troy: Watching ur touchy-feely movie (Definitely, Maybe) with Van Wilder trying to act a serious role. Of course u only watched it because Lil Miss Sunshine is in it. And we know how much you love that movie.

Movie Snob: Dude I never recommended that movie. It was ok but it's a movie I would not recommend.

Troy: Never said u recommended. But on Da Flix you rated it 3 stars. That pretty much means u r gay.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? Cause you're watching it.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U watched Brokeback Mountain 3 times when Heath Ledger died crying uncontrollably.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? Cause you know who starred in Brokeback Mountain.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? Little Miss Sunshine is ur favorite movie of all time.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You're using text language like a 15 year old girl.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U said, "no he didn't" when Van Wilder told April she should go to "life rehab" in the movie Definitely, Maybe.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You know the name of the characters.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? When Scarlett Johansson got engaged to Van Wilder u were truly happy for them saying and I quote, "don't they make a cute couple."

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You didn't like Harold & Kumar 2 because of the bottomless female nudity.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U LOVED Harold & Kumar 2 because of the bottomless MALE nudity.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? Life is Beautiful is your favorite movie.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U cried when April got the book & told Van Wilder to leave in your girly-movie.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You wear Jim Jones jeans.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U wear Rip Hamilton jerseys with matching headband & face mask.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You don't like the NBA anymore because they wear long shorts now.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U downloaded the soundtrack for Definitely, Maybe to ur top 25 tunes on ur gaypod.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You saw High School Musical in iMAX.

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? U only go to the indie artsy movie theaters.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? You told me I had to see, PS: I Love You in iMAX

Troy: U know how I know ur gay? After seeing Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants you tried to swap ur jeans with ur other gay friends.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? Your favorite NFL player is Willis Mc-GAY-hee.

Troy: OUCH, I'm going to remember that one. U know how I know ur gay? Your favorite cartoon character is Mr(s). Garrison.

Movie Snob: You know how I know you're gay? YOU WRITE LITTLE GIRLY-MAN STORIES ON THAT GAY BLOG OF YOURS THINKING IT MAKES YOU COOL!!!

Troy: OK, you know what? I'm taking that last one personal. I mean, having a blog doesn't make someone gay. Straight people have blogs too. I mean, not that being gay is a bad thing...